Our stake women's conference was wonderful! The tables turned out simple, but beautiful. The lanterns on silver paper with Hershey kisses sprinkled about...I like how it turned out. Then we had huge pictures of the Savior across the stage with white twinkle lights going across. We made handouts with a picture of Christ holding a lamp, and a key chain flashlight. I was real happy with how it all turned out. And the meeting itself was amazing. Jan Pyne played a beautiful piano solo that she composed and the speaker was marvelous. I typed up the basics of her talk so I could remember them. I think it all struck such a chord with me because of my sister Lori. You will have to read my notes to understand. Anyway, it was a lovely event and I was happy to be a part of it.
Notes on Krista Isaacson's talk "Points of Light"
She had a newborn infant (he might have been a few months
older when this all happened) and 4 other children. The 2 year old, Elora, is who her story is
about. She said her brother-in-law had
just got home from his mission and they all had been to the airport, then spent
the day with family. Everything was
well. Then (that same night maybe?) she
had a primary meeting to go to, (she was in the stake primary) and it was at a
new primary president's house, so she felt she needed to go. When she took the kids to the babysitter
(friend), Elora screamed MOMMY MOMMY when the other lady tried to hold
her. She arched back and did NOT want to
go with the sitter. Krista relented and
just took her with her. So she gets to
the house and carries in an infant seat, a diaper bag and a 2 year old. She no sooner sat down with Elora when Elora
threw up all over the both of them. She
went back outside and another sister helped her get the baby into the car. She got the other kids and went home. Elora proceeded to throw up 5 more
times. There were no clean sheets or
pajamas so she let her get into her bed where she finally fell asleep. It was getting later and her husband (who was
studying for his MBA) came home and they were in the bedroom talking about
their day when Elora stirred. More than
once. Making some funny mumbly noises
but then would go back to sleep. Then
all of a sudden she had a seizure.
Krista had never seen one before but she knew what it was. She just held her, talking to her until it
was over. Then Elora wouldn't wake
up. She was shouting, "Elora! Elora!"
There was family staying in the basement (they had come for the missionary
homecoming) and the husband ran upstairs when he heard her yelling and he said,
get her to the emergency room now! So
they grabbed the baby and Elora and went to American Fork Hospital. (From the symptoms she described - walking
crooked and shaking, I thought to myself, she has diabetes! And this story is going to have a good
ending! Miracles and all...)
At the hospital she was having a seizure again and they got
medicine in her to help with those. They
decided she had juvenile diabetes and was in a diabetic coma. The ER doctor was very humble and said something
like, I know about a lot of things, but I don't know a lot about all
things. You need to get her to Primary Children's
where they can figure out a treatment plan.
So she rode in the ambulance and her husband followed in the car with
the baby.
Elora was immediately taken in for a cat scan. Krista showed the picture of a normal brain,
and the picture of Elora's brain that had a tumor. She had a brain tumor! It was blocking off the flow of spinal fluid
and the pressure was making her have the seizures. They needed to put a shunt in and drain
it. Krista and her husband gave
permission. (Now my thoughts were that
she will have surgery and this story is still going to have a good ending!)
Krista starting feeling that horrible mom guilt. Why didn't I see any warning signs? Why didn't I see symptoms? 2 year olds can't tell you when things are
wrong, but I am her mom and should have been able to see SOMETHING. As she was having these thoughts the spirit
sent her a point of light. The
word TONSILS. She thought, what? TONSILS?
Then she realized that Elora was in the hospital less than 2 months ago
having her huge tonsils and adnoids out.
She was surrounded by experienced medical personnel and NONE of them had
noticed anything wrong our out of the norm.
The weight of that mom guilt left her immediately.
When they finally went in to see her after the procedure
they were told what to expect. She had a
breathing tube in and the tape for that would distort her face a little. So they went in with her (she showed a
picture of her) and she wanted to look at the shunt. The nurse was prepared for how the mother
would react - they never know quite what a mother will do, but she was prepared. When Krista saw the shunt she started
laughing. Her husband said she better
explain herself to the nurse or they would take her to the psychiatric ward. The story is this...awhile back Krista had
been giving her boys haircuts. She
finished the last one and he was the littlest so she carried him into the
shower. She wasn't gone even 3 minutes
but she had left the clippers plugged in.
Yep, Elora had done the swoop from the front to the back. Krista wasn't sure how to react, but she
laughed about it, gave Elora a big hug and told her it was okay. Then she took a picture of her holding the
clippers (she showed the picture). So
she was laughing when she saw the shunt because Elora's hair was just coming
back in and she had some bangs of about an inch. Now they were all shaved off again.
Krista pointed out at this time, the "Points of
Light" that she had witnessed so far and was very aware of them as they
sat in that hospital room. One, that she
had the intuition to take her with her to that meeting instead of leaving her
with the sitter, two, that the seizures didn't start happening until after her
husband got home so she wouldn't be alone, and three, that they had family
staying in the basement so could rush to the hospital without worrying about
the other kids asleep in their beds. And
fourth, a humble ER doctor that knew what they should do. And the amazing people at Primary
Childrens. She could not say enough good
about them.
This all happened late in the night and the middle of the
night. Her mom had started driving down
from Idaho when she thought it was juvenile diabetes. As soon as she got to Primary Children's she
took over like a mom does. Took the
baby, and dealt with everything that needed dealing with. People had also started showing up to give
support to them and how it was all so appreciated. The next morning (I may have the time frame
wrong) the drs were going to take Elora in for an MRI which gives a better
comprehensive view of the brain. They
said they would be gone about 45 minutes.
It was hard to let her go, but they knew it needed to be done. After about an hour, her husband said he was
going to go check and see what was taking so long. Pretty soon a social worker came and got
Krista and was rushing her off to where Elora was. She said that Elora had had another seizure
and her heart stopped. They had her
stabilized but she was in grave danger.
Krista said, okay, take me to her.
And in one second this social worker stopped, whirled around and was no
longer in social worker mode but asked Krista, how are you doing this? Being so strong? And Krista just said, we are not alone. She knew family from the other side was there
and of course her Heavenly Father.
(Another point of light). They
got into the room and someone was doing chest compressions on Elora. She stood next to her husband and watched,
telling her little girl to keep breathing baby...and how hard it was to hear
that "flatline" on the machine.
As soon as the beeps started again, the dr said, we need to do a quick
cat scan and see what is happening in her brain. So a nurse straddled her body to keep doing
chest compressions as her heart kept stopping and they pushed her into the
machine and back out again. As soon as
the dr saw the image he told them they needed to do surgery right now! He was asking permission. They said yes! Do anything to save our baby! (at this point I
can't remember what happened, but she didn't have surgery and she was totally
dependent on life support. She would remain a vegetable if they kept her on
life support) Now they were told they
had a choice to make. Leave her on life
support and wait for her to pass naturally, which could be two days, two weeks,
no one knows. The other choice is to
take her off life support and let her pass.
(I can't even imagine having to make that decisions! AND, this was NOT
the ending I imagined for this story)
By this time her dad was there. He had caught a flight as soon as he could
when he heard it wasn't diabetes. Her
parents stayed with Elora while she and her husband went outside for a
walk. It was night time, she could see
the stars and the moon and she told her husband she just couldn't make that
decision. She said her husband is very
wise and he told her she needed to pray.
She told Heavenly Father that she just couldn't make this decision. Please make it for me. And then another point of light came to
her. She had been inspired in the last
week or so, in her scripture study, to study trusting the will of the
Lord. All the scriptures she had been
studying came back to her mind, and she knew He was asking her to make the
decision and that He would be there for her.
They decided to take her off life support. She first asked if she could just lay down
for a few minutes and rest. Which she
did. Elora's hair that was all matted on
the side was being combed by a nurse and put in a pony tail. She said it took her two hours. (She showed pictures of her holding her and
of the ponytail). Krista went in after a
short rest and held her daughter. When
it came time to disconnect Elora, her and her husband faced each other and held
their arms out, holding each other.
Elora was placed on their arms and they got to hold her and say
goodbye. Krista was worried that Elora
would struggle, but she said it was very peaceful. The machines got unplugged, the breathing
tube last, and she just quietly left this earth. The point of light she felt at this moment
was, that if she had not made the decision, and just let her pass on the Lord's
time, she wouldn't have felt that peace where she was holding her daughter and
knew that family members on the other
side were taking her in. She couldn't
describe the beautiful feeling and the peace that she had.
It was very hard to leave that hospital without their
daughter. They went home and had to tell
the other kids what had happened. Now
this all happened in about 48 hours.
Many hands were there to help and do things she didn't even
know she needed. Her mom said they
needed to go buy a white dress and she said, yes, tomorrow. We'll do that tomorrow. Well that same day she got a call from a
friend or cousin (someone, I can't remember who) who knew a lady who had lost a
little girl about a year ago. She was an
amazing seamstress and wanted to make her daughter's funeral dress but just
couldn't. She knew she would find a time
to pay it forward and make one for someone else. Krista accepted this with a resounding YES! And the lady brought the dress the next
day. She made it in one day. And she made Krista and her husband a temple
packet out of the same fabric so they would have a reminder of her every time
they went to the temple. THAT is a
beautiful point of light.
As she sat on the front row at the funeral, waiting for her
turn to speak (she wanted to speak), she could only describe the feeling of
what Joseph Smith must have felt in the grove.
A darkness, a weight, came down upon her so hard. Like the adversary didn't want her to talk
about the plan of salvation. She felt
like she couldn't breathe and was about to reach for her husband when her mom
was talking. Whatever she was saying was
like a light and Krista felt the weight lift off her.
There were so many times she felt the arms of our Heavenly
Father around her. So many points of
light that helped her through this all.
The many people who stopped by and didn't even know why, were all
answers to her prayers. One lady stopped
by with some thank you cards. She said I
don't even know why I am here with these, and Krista said because I need them
and you were inspired! Life getting back
to "normal" was very different.
What is "normal" when your little girl isn't there anymore?
Krista bore a powerful testimony and there weren't many dry
eyes in the audience.
Now I have to say why this story went straight to my
heart. My sister passed away at the age
of 2 1/2. She was ill for a long time
before they ever knew what was wrong with her.
She had cancer. When they knew
she wasn't going to live, my parents drove to Utah for April General
Conference. Lori was feeling good and
all the family got a chance to see her (grandparents, aunts, uncles etc) one
more time. I always think of my parents
and how did they go through this. Well,
we are not alone. That's how. The points of light from our Father in Heaven
are the only way to make it through anything in this life. As Krista told her story, I tried to imagine
which is harder, losing a child so quickly, or knowing they are ill and will be
dying at a future date. I honestly don't
know which would be worse, or harder.
But I do know, there is help from the other side in either
situation. The plan of
happiness/salvation is real. We are
nothing without our Lord and Savior and His atonement. This powerful story increased my testimony of
it all.
