More Hang Time Pictures..

There's just so many great pictures!  Had to add a bunch more!  And one at the end with me in it to prove I was there! Happy 8th birthday David!!

 Nate getting some great height!

 Tag!

Hang Time with David!

David's birthday party was today.  It was at Hang Time.  It's a giant trampoline place and lots of fun!  He had a great time with his friends and family.  Pizza and presents too!  And his momma made a trampoline cake!  She did a bundt cake, filled the center with gummy bears, and put a piece of fruit leather across the top. Then she frosted it and put a few gummy bears "jumping" on the top.  Some on toothpicks so it looked like they were jumping higher.  Cute!  David's friends were so impressed when she cut into it and gummy bears fell out!  David doesn't really like cake so it was good to have candy in it!  Everyone bounced, and jumped into foam pits, and swung off the rope into a huge air bag...they played dodgeball and basketball and tag.  So much movement!  Most of our pictures are blurry!  Grandpa even jumped into the foam pit!  A fun time was had by all.  There are just tons of pictures so here we go...in no particular order!

 Grandpa even did the foam pit! 

 Zach, Marshall, and Lilly on the dodgeball court (don't know the kid in red)

 Safe zone for tag...the square in the corner!

House hunting...

Right before Christmas, Dave's brother John told us that he would be released from the Stake presidency in February and that he was going to sell his house and get ready to move up here to Utah.  He also said that he would be selling this house that we are living in!  He said we probably have until April or so to move.  We decided it might be time for us to buy a house so we can just move ONE more time and be done.  This will be our 3rd move in 3 years!  We talked with Nate and Amanda and decided they really can't afford too much rent on their own yet while Nate is still in school, so we can both save money if we stay together until he's done (18 mos to 2 years I believe).  So we started looking at houses.  We went to a financial institution to see how much we could afford.  Not as much as we had hoped!  We had forgotten about one loan we had cosigned for so it made our numbers lower.  The interesting thing is this: When we came up to look at houses in April of 2013, they would go under contract before we even had a chance to look at them!  It was so crazy!  So we thought by starting at the beginning of January, we would have better luck.  Nope!  They go under contract right and left!  We would just find a listing and call our realtor and he would call us back and say it was under contract!  Oh my gosh...this is going to be harder than we thought!  In the meantime, as we look at houses, we have figured out what we want, what we don't want, which floor plans won't work for our situation (the split level floor plans are all the same, and even though they have 5 bedrooms, the layout isn't right for us and the square footage is too small).  We will keep looking and feel grateful that we have a little bit of time since houses are going like hot cakes!  Here's a couple of pictures from some houses we looked at of some decorating things I liked.  A HOME sign that I could easily duplicate, a funny saying about peas - because all the kids whine when I make peas with dinner.  Seriously WHINE when they have to eat just a spoonful of peas!  ha ha. And this one darling little girl bedroom.  I loved the colors and how it was decorated.  The picture is kind of dark and doesn't do it justice.  One house had bee boxes.  Made me miss my dad!  I wonder what he would have done if I had ever painted them like this family did.  My Relief Society president who I work with is trying really hard to find us a house in the ward.  She doesn't want us to leave!  And we don't want to leave!  We have bonded in this ward and really love the area.  Everything is just right for us here.  But there really isn't anything available here.  I guess we better start packing!

A few funeral pictures...

Mark posted a few pictures from the cemetery.  I was grateful to see them.  The balloon launch looked perfect.  It looks like they were writing messages to William on them.  Interesting to me that there doesn't appear to be a vault, just the casket put down in the dirt.  I think they recorded the funeral so I hope I get to listen to it and get a copy of the program.  Hugs and prayers to Alaska!

 Todd, Karen, and Ron holding Libby

Megan and Edwin

My heart is still in Alaska...

My heart is still in Alaska.  Thinking of this little family as they prepare for little William's funeral today.  How their hearts must hurt!  I think of Edwin, and how he will always feel responsible for William's death, even though it was an accident and if it wasn't William's time to go, he wouldn't have. Heavenly Father would have intervened at some point if it wasn't William's time to go home.  I think of Megan and how she will miss this little man, his hugs, his adventures, and saying goodbye to her first baby.  I think of Libby and Korban, growing up without their big brother.  Libby was very close to William.  I wonder if she understands that he is not coming back.  And Korban will grow up never knowing his older brother, only hearing the stories, and seeing the pictures and videos.  I grew up never knowing my sister who had died when I was a baby.  I only know the stories and see the pictures of her short life (no videos back then! But a few old silent home movies).  I think of how they are saying they are calm and feel peace.  I know the spirit is comforting them and that they know they WILL see William again.  I think of how after the funeral they will feel empty and lonely and sad, but yet at peace.  Then the real test begins.  After all the people stop calling, sending cards and checking on you, when it's back to reality and how hard it will be.  I can only imagine of course, but my heart truly hurts for them.  There will be many tears and I'm sure many times they will want to curl up in a ball and wish the world away.  I pray that they will continue to find comfort and to feel our love.  Life will never be the same for them, but with the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the love of their family and friends, they will go on enduring and pressing forward in faith until they can be with little William again.  This poem is from my sister's funeral.  I don't know the author, and I have changed the she and her to he and him...it is a sweet message about whose children these really are...

            “I’ll lend you for a little time, a child of mine,” He said,

          “For you to love him while he lives, and mourn for when he’s dead.

          It may be six or seven years, or twenty-two or three,

          But will you, till I call him back, take care of him for me?

            He’ll bring his charms to gladden you, and should his stay be brief,

          You’ll have his lovely memories as solace for your grief.

          I cannot promise he will stay, since all from earth return,

          But there are lessons taught down there I want this child to learn.

          I’ve looked the wide world over in my search for teachers true

          And from the throngs that crowd life’s lanes, I have selected you.

          Now will you give him all your love, nor think the labor vain

          Nor hate me when I come to call to take him back again?”

          I fancied that I hear them say, “Dear Lord, Thy will be done!

          For all the joy Thy child shall bring, the risk of grief we’ll run.

          We’ll shelter him with tenderness, we’ll love him while we may,

          And for the happiness we’ve known, forever grateful stay;

          But should the angels call for him much sooner than we’ve planned,

          We’ll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.”

I have a gift to send to Megan and Edwin. It says, "You can do the impossible, because you have been through the unimaginable." They are young, they are strong.  I hope they will feel our love when we send their gift.  We sent money to the funeral fund as well.  I wish there was more that we could do.  Thinking of them as they hold the funeral today and sending our love to Alaska!

Sweet William...

I can't help but think of my parents as we go through this tragedy.  They lost their little Lori at age two and half from a battle with cancer.  Not the same as little William, but the loss of a child just the same.  My thoughts have been in heaven where my parents surely welcomed their great-grandson into their midst.  And my thoughts have just been running the gamut from those left behind to those already in heaven. Here is William's obituary, along with some cute pictures of him.  How I wish I could have met him, and the other great nieces and nephews.  Alaska is so far away!!  We feel so far away and helpless!!  We have met Aimee's little girl and Chrissy's little boy, only because they have family here in Utah from their husbands' sides and so they come to visit now and then.  I am also including in this post a few poems that have brought comfort to me and hopefully to them as they go through this.  I know William is watching over them now, that he will be their little angel in heaven as Lori was to my parents all those years. This beautiful picture of Jesus walking with the little boy will be displayed at his funeral.  I believe it is a Greg Olsen painting.  They have always said that it looks like William in the picture.

William's Obituary:

Our "little knight in shining armor," William Kenneth Anderson, born Oct. 25, 2011, joined our Father in heaven Dec. 28, 2015. Everyone was his friend, and he loved his friends with his whole being. He shared his joy of imagination with intense vision, infecting and inviting us all into his dreams.

Some of his favorite things were dinosaurs, dragons, knights, Octonauts, 'Mater, storytime, sledding, hugging, laughter, swimming, ocean creatures, and bedtime Bible stories. But most of all he loved his family.

We say goodbye to William, believing we will walk again with him in heaven. This life is long for those of us he left behind: daddy, Edwin; mommy, Megan; sister, Liberty; brother, Korban; grandparents, Ron, Karen, Eric and Ruth; aunts and uncles Emily, Aimee, Chrissy B., Ashley, Chrissy F., Lyssa, Todd, Mark, Trevor, Davis, Aaron, Andrew, and David; a plethora of cousins; and great-grandparents William, Patty, and Anne.

A funeral will be held Saturday, Jan. 2, 2015 at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints (Mormon) Stake Center in Wasilla. A viewing is scheduled for 10 a.m. followed by the funeral at 11 a.m. Burial will be at Palmer Pioneer Cemetery.

 Autobiography 

I, one of God's noble spirits came to Earth one day. 
Lingered just a moment, then hurried on my way. 
But, I left a body in face and form complete 
which must be buried tenderly, in Earth for quite sleep. 

And because two hearts were breaking they could not hear me say, 
I'll claim it my darling parents on Resurrection Day. 
Thank you Father and Mother for giving it to me. 
With it I'll know progression through all eternity. 

With it I'll be your son and make you proud and glad 
Know that I work and study and never again be sad. 
In God's great world of spirits there are many to be with me. 
I'll learn to love and cherish all those of our family tree. 

Others are waiting my parents who will love and stay with you 
I had to hurry onward I had other work to do 
But remember I'll be waiting, true to your earthly test 
And when we meet we'll smile and say, 
"What Father does is best."

(Author unknown)

The sun has set upon the hand
of a tiny little child
this little one was laid to rest
now peaceful still and mild
such a young heart, but very strong 
a prince upon this land
saving damsels in distress
with sword and shield in hand
giving comfort when it was needed
stepping up to save the day
an example of faith and pure love of the gospel
a little child shall lead them they say
There are bigger more important tasks
for his tender hand to do
for the Lord has called Sweet William home
even though his years were few

For the Farnsworth families. Love, Tamara Saunders Zoerb

A heavy heart...

Yesterday morning my phone rang a little before 7. I wasn't quite awake and looked at it, it said Ron Farnsworth (my brother in Alaska) and I thought he was just calling to say Happy New year or something so I didn't answer it right away (not really awake and things weren't too clear).  Then he called again so I knew I better come to and answer it.  He asked if he was my wake up call and I said yes, but it was okay because Dave's alarm had just gone off.  Then he proceeded to tell me the terrible news.  His daughter Megan's little boy William (age 4) got hold of a gun and had shot himself the evening before.  Ron was just crying and telling me how the grief was so unbearable.  I felt so bad.  I couldn't even imagine what they were all going through! He told me a little about sweet William and how loving and sweet he was.  He told me that a car accident or an illness you are a little more equipped to handle, but there was just nothing in you to deal with something like this.  He and Karen were getting ready to get on a plane and go over to Bethel (where Megan and Edwin live).  I told him I would put names in the temple and I would call Eric (Eric hadn't answered his phone either, but he was in the shower!). I sent a text to Steve and said I was sure he probably doesn't pray and that he probably wouldn't especially for his brother (they have had a falling out and don't speak) but that I thought he should know what happened and the grief they are going through.  Steve called Eric later and said he got a text from "someone in Utah" he hadn't recognized my number.  He got more details from Eric and then the interesting thing was that he asked Eric if Megan and Edwin had been married in the temple.  When Eric said they had, Steve's response was something like, "Well, then they have that."  After all these years away from the church, he still knew something about eternal families and remembered it!  I find that so interesting.  Anyway, Ron sounded so broken hearted on the phone and it broke my heart to think of the pain they were all going through.  It was all I could think about all day.  And when I tried to sleep last night, my heart actually felt heavy in my chest.  Whenever I moved or turned, I could feel it.  I don't know how to explain it but it literally felt heavy.  My thoughts and prayers have been totally for the family in Alaska.  Such a tragedy.  How thankful I am for knowing the plan of salvation, but how to get through day to day with the grief?  One of the trials of mortal life.  Megan had posted this sweet picture and thoughts on facebook (without saying what had happened) and my heart just hurt for them all.  Aimee (Ron's daughter who lives in Washington D.C.) sent us an email telling the whole story today. I hope they can feel our love all the way from Utah.

  To my little knight in shining armor:

I know you, I walked with you once upon a dream. I know you, that gleam in your eye is so familiar a gleam. And I know it's true that visions are seldom all they seem - but if I know you, I know what you'll do - you'll love me at once, the way you did once upon a dream.

I will walk again with you in heaven. This life is long for us, but this place is not our home. It will be a blink of an eye for you until we are together again, my baby.

Aimee's email: 

Hey everyone, I just wanted to give you a heads up. My little sister Megan's sweet little boy, William, her oldest (4 yrs) son, died last night from an accidental self-inflicted gunshot wound. Saying that we're all beside ourselves with grief is putting it mildly. Our hearts are torn in two, ripped wide open. We didn't have very many details until now, and all of this information has been passed to me through various channels, but it was declared by the investigator today that it was indeed an accident, stressing that is was not any criminal negligence or poor choices or anything like that. Edwin's mom had been staying with them for the holidays, and as she had just had hip surgery, it was easier for her to sleep on their (higher) bedroom mattress and for Meg and Edwin to sleep on a mattress on the floor in the living room. Edwin has a routine of wearing a personal gun as well as his state trooper one throughout the day. When he goes to bed, he takes it off to sleep and keeps it in his nightstand next to him, and first thing in the morning, he puts it on, walks the dog and goes to work. He wears it all day long. Because they were out of their usual routine, sleeping in the living room, he was keeping it on a shelf in the living room, but happened to wake up late for work yesterday morning and left it there by accident as he rushed to work. William and Libby had been out sledding and came in to warm up. Megan was in the kitchen with Ruth, her MIL, making dinner. They sent the kids into the living room to play (you can see the living room from the kitchen since it has an open window bar, so the news articles coming out right now saying that he was playing alone with the gun are worded really poorly). They heard a loud pop and thought it was a balloon or electrical shock from the entertainment center, and Megan turned in time to see William get thrown back. She ran to him screaming and cradled him in her arms. She knew immediately (probably from her nursing skills) that he was already gone, yet his body continued to breathe and move because of brain and nerve damage. She was still holding him when the medics came and took him away. She's really distraught that, (probably just following protocol), they put him on the stretcher and covered him with the sheet and wouldn't let her ride in the ambulance even though she'd already seen the worst. She just wanted to hold him until he stopped moving (though a medical friend of mine insists that may have taken several hours). Her experience was very traumatic. I have no idea how she's holding it together as well as she is. Edwin was out on a snow machine with another trooper at work, about 3 miles away from their village (Bethel) when his buddy got the call to return immediately to their trooper housing. When Edwin found out what happened, he threw himself on the floor and screamed so loud. I think the ambulance had already gone--he didn't get to see William one last time. William's body is being life flighted tonight to Anchorage, weather permitting, since Megan and Edwin agreed to allow his organs to be harvested. They're hoping to have the funeral this Saturday. The three of us in DC are getting on a flight Thursday night. My parents flew to Bethel this morning to help them pack so they can come back to Wasilla (whether or not they're planning on moving there for good I'm not sure). 

My dad called last night to tell me about it as best he could through his sobs. I've never heard him cry like that before. I probably only slept for about three half hours last night and am hopefully exhausted enough to sleep tonight. We're all just feeling nauseous and still in a state of shock and disbelief. It's all so horrible. Edwin is beating himself up over it and we're all just trying to help them and my parents make it through this. My dad asked Edwin if he blames his mother for coming to stay and upsetting their routine, since that is essentially what led to this domino effect of events that created the perfect storm. Of course Edwin does not blame her--that would be ridiculous. So my dad pointed out that, for the same reason, he really can't blame himself. It was just a really, truly horrible accident.

I keep thinking of how much we're going to miss him, and at the same time feeling peace, knowing that this is all part of God's plan for our family, just as it would be should Andrew or Lilyanne be taken from me. I am so grateful for the gospel and for a knowledge of the plan of salvation. I know they will be able to finish the job they started, of raising their sweet little boy. They will be granted every blessing they have been so suddenly denied. I know that we'll all be able to snuggle him again and that Lilyanne and all the cousins will play together again. It's just that we're going to have to wait a long time. Right now is our dark night of the soul, truly. This next year is going to be pretty rough for the Farnsworth family as we try to push forward. Megan and Edwin are amazing and I know they're going to pull through this. We all are. I haven't had a chance to talk with Megan or Edwin yet, or even my mom. I've just been keeping in touch with my dad, who's at their home right now helping to clean up. There was fortunately not a lot to clean up, as most of of the mess (for lack of better terminology) was on the mattress, and the police doing the investigation had at least balled most of that up. It all still feels surreal

Last night, in my fits of crying and sleep, I kept thinking of that painting with the angels in a big group swooping in overhead of Mary, Joseph and baby Jesus (The Nativity by Brian Kershisnik). All night and into today I've been praying that Megan and Edwin can feel the presence of the angels there with them. I know they're there. I know they're here too. I know it--I just wish I could feel their presence besides knowing it. But at least I know it. They are surrounding us and bearing us up. I keep asking God to send more. It's really amazing how fast your whole world can be turned upside down. Luckily, we found out about this while Andrew had his days off, so he's here taking care of me, as is our ward. I am so thankful for my knowledge of eternal families and knowing that our little William is a perfect, celestial being. We only need to strive to be more perfected during this lifetime so that we may be worthy of being with him again. And no matter how long and dark this night, daylight will always follow. I have that assurance through my savior, Jesus Christ. 

Thank you for all your prayers. I love you all, and just wanted you to get some details.

Puzzle Season!

One of my favorite things to do during the holidays is work on puzzles.  I already had the BYU puzzle and this summer Teri gave me the German Castle one.  Both were 500 pieces so weren't too hard or took too long to assemble.  They were fun.  Then Teri sent me the Harry Potter one for Christmas so we did that one too!  And when I say we, I mean ME.  Dave did put a few pieces in once in awhile in passing.  I love doing puzzles.  My mom did too.  It must be hereditary.  We also grew some crazy icicles on our house (maybe I don't have a black thumb!), the deer have shown up again, and we went and saw Amanda's classroom in Payson.  Isn't she the cutest little math teacher!? Look at that amazing desk plate Nate made for her for Christmas.  She is going to have a great year teaching 7th and 8th grade math!  Her students are very lucky to get her.  Yes, we are ready to roll in the new year!  Oh, and when you ask your son-in-law to take out the dead and dry Christmas tree, you laugh when he puts it in a mound of snow!